Forever Faithful

My mom gave me a word of encouragement the other night that I thought would be helpful to others, as well. We've been going through a lot recently and she was telling me to remember Joseph (Jacob's son). She told me to think about how he must have felt sitting in that pit, knowing that God had told him things in a dream, yet not knowing how it would all come into play. Then I went back and read parts of the story. Do you realize that not only was Joseph highly favored, but that the Bible even says that the Lord was with him? It mentions it several times that God was there. Even though Joseph was wrongly accused and imprisoned, God was still there with him and He made sure that Joseph was okay. Not only that, but I think about how Joseph always gave God the glory. That is how I want to live. There was no doubt that Joseph followed God, Pharaoh knew it and every one who came in contact with Joseph knew it. The part that my mom knew I needed to hear was that, although Joseph was put in situations of despair, he held on to God's promises and knew that when God said something, He meant it. He had to know that God will never forsake his children and that though he couldn't see the end, if he put his trust in God, he would make it through.

I have a lot of things that I probably should be worrying about right now, and sometimes I fall into that trap and end up worrying about them; but I know that God has good things planned for me and that all things work out for the good of those who love Him. I know that God has promised to never leave nor forsake me. I know that He promised that we would face persecution and trials as a believer, but that I would not face them alone. I know that there is power in death and resurrection of His son and the blood shed for me. I know that He has given me strength and that I cannot attribute any of what has happened nor the fact that I am so joyful through struggles to anything but Christ. He is my strength.

To be salt and light in the world...

It saddens me sometimes how we, as Christians, act or come across to others... I say "we", myself included... As those held responsible to shine a light, the Light, we need to be aware that the world watches as we live out our days. 


“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.
   ¹⁴ “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵ Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. ¹⁶ In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." -Matthew 5:13-16


I am going to refrain from sharing the full story, for that is not the purpose of this post; but I will say that I hope and pray that, as believers, we will be examples for others to follow. Let us not look to anyone, but Jesus, to show us how to be that perfect example.  

Step out on the water

Have you ever had something hit you after a major life experience and it wasn’t made clear until the event actually happened? That’s what happened to me.

I just realized something.

Recently I had to make a tough decision. Now I could’ve done what I felt was safe instead of stepping out of my comfort zone and following what I knew was right; the thing that God was telling me to do. Where would I be now if I hadn’t of stepped out on the water? Shaking on a boat, trembling with fear, feeling alone?

It took a lot of courage. It took a lot of strength, not my own; but it was faith that made it happen. Many worries and thoughts about the future went through my mind as I reached for his hand. I felt my grip slipping and, for a second, I thought that the water gave way… but I fixed my gaze on those peaceful eyes, eyes like deep pools of calm water… and he walked with me. His presence comforted me. And I realized… I was never alone.

This is my desire... to be used by You.

I pray that you never give up your dreams...
that you follow your calling...
that you realize that he or she is not everything...

The other day I was just thinking about how many times I have let the idea of being with someone get in the way of what I could be... of what God is calling me to do. I would much rather be single the rest of my life than get distracted and miss out on what the Lord has for me. I am tired of losing focus on the things that don't matter. My heart is to serve and please the Lord, my God... so, in the thoughts of marriage and finding the one, I pray that my heart will stay guarded and that I will place my commitment to God above everything. I want to focus on falling in love with God, before I can ever even begin to think of falling in love with someone else. I pray that you, too, may realize the importance of this significant, sacred aspect of life. After talking about marriage at bible study last week (in 1 Corinthians), I am seeing more and more why Paul wished that we could all be single. Don't get me wrong, I believe in marriage and that it is definitely a good thing, but I realize the importance of being single and using that time given to you to fall madly in love with Him.

Breathe in, breathe deep...

"Abba...I belong to You."

I breathe in Your love...
I sing out Your praises...
I hear Your voice
speaking quietly to me...
You comfort me
in a way that only You know how.
All day long I sang to You,
I talked to You,
and as I lay down to sleep,
all I can think of is You.
I lie awake,
praying
Lord,
let me dream of You.
Let everything that I do
be about You.
No longer my own...
This is who I am,
I live for You.

I will not give up on them, for You never gave up on me...

These thoughts are all a product of my discussions with my roommates today... and it all started out with talking about Hosea.

How awesome is it that God chose to use what is tangible to us, like the relationship of Hosea and his wife, and make his relationship with us more real?

Have you ever thought about what it would be like if God came to you and asked you to marry a woman that you knew would betray you, be adulterous, and turn away and then told you to love her?
That this would be a symbol of His relationship with and love for His people?

And how many times have we been guilty of giving up... giving up on the lost, our families, our friends... or even just forgetting that they are not forever lost?

Whether or not you received salvation at a young age, or spent years apart from Him; His grace is the same. He still forgives us of each and every sin, and that in itself is the beauty of salvation. The way He constantly persists, pursues...He will not leave the one behind... The way that He constantly intercedes and searches for just one to "stand in the gap" shows how much He cares. He will never give up on you.

Everything, you are to me.

How do I describe who and what You are to me?

When I think about how truly beautiful You are 

my heart skips for joy.

You are the joy radiating from my smile,

the very rays of the sun,

Light of the world, 

You are

that blanket holding me secure,

an overwhelming peace,

the wind gently brushing my face,

Prince of Peace,

You are

the constant beat of my heart

every breath that I take

the living water that sustains

Life,

You are

the best medicine that I could ever take,

the only One who has the power to restore,

Healer,

You are

an ocean of grace

my hiding place

Rock and Fortress

You are

the most precious gift I could have ever received

a noble, humble, and most righteous king,

Lord of Lords,

You are

the rarest gem, more precious than silver and gold,

worthy of highest praise

indescribable, unfathomable, set apart,

Holy,

You are

the cool air that embraces me on an autumn day,

the fire that stirs within my heart,

my Love,

You are

the only one in the room that I see.

They are no more...

I was driving on a long trip yesterday, when I started to hear a song and it got stuck in my head. Now, usually this would be like getting any old song stuck in your head, but instead this was one of those times when it was just one line that would replay. That was not even the interesting part of the story.

The other day I had one of those days where my past would not leave me alone. My sins played on repeat.  I understood that God forgave me, but I couldn't understand why He would. I was just like those people in Corinth living a double life. Yet, I didn't understand why God chose to show me such grace. Why was I living the blessed life that I was now?

Then, as I drove down the stretching highway, I began to listen to the song playing in my mind. "Your sins are forgotten, they're on the bottom of the ocean floor... "
"God, is this for me?"
"Your sins are erased, they are no more, they're there on the ocean floor." And suddenly, I felt his love sweep over me. Covered by a "mighty wave", those things have been forgotten about. It was all because of a man named Jesus. Now I may dance in this freedom, floating free among waves of mercy and grace; no longer anchored to those things sitting at the bottom of the ocean floor.

There is a God who loves you.

I don't care who you are, you need to know this: there is a God who loves you. Please also know this always: you are special, irreplaceable, and beautiful. You may know that He loves you, but do you know what that means? There is a God that is jealous for you. Someone that knows everything about you, that wants to be with you every waking moment, every second of every day. Every time that you say something that brings yourself down, every time the thought that you're not good enough crosses your mind, it hurts Him more than it hurts you. He created you. He wants to carry you and be with you through it all. He desperately calls out to you hoping that you will bring your worries to Him. I pray that you will truly know how high, how deep, how wide the extravagant love of Christ is. It is a love, a joy, that will never leave you, one that you just can't explain. Certainly, nothing can separate, with a love this strong; love that conquered sin and death. He looks at you and sees something beautiful, not the person that you can't stand, but the person you've always been. He sees the best in you, because love keeps no record of wrongs. His love for you is strong. Please, never believe the lies that no one cares for you, that no one is there, that life is not worth holding on to; because THERE IS someone who will always be there. Sweeter and more precious than your closest friend, Jesus, our love and Savior is waiting. Don't give up, there is hope. He fights for you, pursues you and won't back down. He loves you. 

Poured out in an overflow...

 It has been said that the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power. The things that He has done in our lives cannot be explained. There are not enough words to describe His greatness.

My hope is that my life will speak for itself.

You cannot look at me and tell me that you don't see his very fingerprint on me. I am no longer afraid, no longer paranoid and no longer in the hospital. I am no longer confused, no longer insecure... no longer the same.

Like the believers in Acts, I am no "super-Christian"... I cannot do it on my own... yet I speak out of the overflow of Jesus in my life.

His love is beautiful.

Love.

How do you describe it?

It will make you do crazy things.

Countless hours on the phone.

Nights spent lying awake, dreaming.

So many hours spent planning out a future that may never exist.

Though you both just met, there is so much certainty that this one is the one.

You're caught up in emotions, can't see past that smile. You keep dreaming 'til that's all that you can see, a flawless smile.

Yeah, love will make you do crazy things.

Somewhere out there, there is someone who is thinking of you.

Every time He looks at you, He is filled with joy.

His thoughts of you are too numerous, and marvelous to compare.

He will comfort you through every struggle and the further you run, the more He runs for you.

He outruns you, and He will find you, because He never gives up.

Unrelenting, His love never fails.

And they say love makes you do crazy things,

but have you ever known a love more great than this...

As crazy as it sounds,

He came as a lowly babe,

Lived a life complete with temptation and trials,

Knew that He would at some point bear it all,

Yet took each infliction with humbleness, bowing His head in silence

Held His hands open as they placed in them the nails that bore into the cross

And there He was, arms open wide, as if to embrace

You, His love, and those that He still could never hate.

"Father forgive them, for they know not what they do."

Love will make you do crazy things.

It can overtake,

Come and erase,

Everything you have ever done wrong

By the greatest gift ever known, found in His grace.

Hosea 2:19-20

Can I have more of You?

How do I explain all of the things that have occurred in just the last month?

I have become carefree, when it comes to caring what people think; completely free of anxiety and nervousness.

I have experienced such amazing times of worship and witnessed such beautiful, precious, unrelenting hearts during this time. All of this reminding me the importance of giving Christ my all during worship and living a life of worship, giving Him my all, all the time! It's like a little analogy I heard tonight. If you don't stay faithful like a ticking clock, and instead stand there like an ornament when the time comes for God to use you, to check the clock's time; the opportunity may pass. Are you ready?

I have surrendered and let go of the worst part of my past.

I have openly shared the gospel with one of my friends and God completely took over. I was left content, knowing without a doubt that the Lord moved. Though he didn't choose to accept Christ right then and there, I was content knowing God had all control.

I watched as the community of believers on campus has grown closer.

With all of that said, you might as well erase all of the "I's", cause none of it was me. I give all of the credit and glory to Jesus Christ, my love and Savior.

Today I was able to talk with a friend about beliefs. And I was discouraged about how I dealt with the topics. But knowing that none of what I say will ever change his heart, but it is all the Holy Spirit when it comes to these things shows me that I have nothing to worry about. Praise the Lord, he walked away holding the Word and he's going to read it! And believe it or not, my friend understood that it would be the Word that spoke to him, if anything, not what I would say or anyone else's opinion on God. It has been so amazing the way that the Lord is working in my life and I am excited and left wanting more!

Sparks will fly!

"The place where God Calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."
-Frederick Buechner


"I want to set the world on fire, 'til it's burning bright for You"
It brings me joy to see those who are in need of a Savior, light up inside when they realize who He is. I love being able to travel and give to those in need. And I love how God works out His plans by weaving your dreams and desires together with His.

With the Belize trip coming up I am in retrospect of past mission trips and of my life and how God has been working. Somehow, I managed to join this team for Belize. My plans long ago for this summer had been to go to Sierra Leone with a team that I would help create. Until recently, I didn't even realize that and I know that, even though I had my own plans, God had something else in store; something BIG. I have great expectations for this trip and I am excited for the days ahead.

Through it all, I just want to see His will done.
Lord, "Can I be the one You use?"

Can You show me where to go? Lord, lead me.

"Where You go, I go... what You say, I say...Lord, what You pray, I pray."

I must remember Jesus and do as He did.

“So Jesus said to them, ‘When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am he, and that I do nothing on my own authority, but speak just as the Father taught me. And he who sent me is with me. He has not left me alone, for I always do the things that are pleasing to him.’” -John 8:28-29

He relied upon the Father. Father, lead me in everything that I do.


"I am weak, you are strong enough to..."


Take my dreams to show the world the needy through a lens and my dreams to write songs for you; and use them.

Lord, let me be the one You use...

Journaling : From Meridian

This time of year, last year I was in Meridian, MS on a mission trip. I just wanted to share some of my journaling that I did en route to Mississippi and while I was there.

"How awesome is our God? He reigns And like a King above all kings, He takes time to care for us, better than any earthly ruler; sending His only Son to die for us. A jealous God that pursues us, takes us in His arms and never lets go. And I am reminded again: If our God is for us, who could ever be against us? I don't think many of us realize what that means. But how could we fathom God's love for us. If He was willing to send His son to come and take our place, what more will he do to ensure His promise and that His purpose and will be acheived." (7//24/10)

" 'Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of man must be lifted up, that everyone who believes in Him may have eternal life' -John 3:14-15
For salvation we must look to Him and trust in Him to save us. It is about having faith in the unseen. He saves us from sin. We need to be able to let people see that God has His hands there, ready to save them.

Praying is such an effective way to get people to look up. It points solely to Jesus. Just by having a request is the start of faith in God and it shows them that you love them. Love is the simplest form of reaching out." (7/27/10)

Time well spent

The alarm sounds, and you reach for the clock. And as it turns off, you rush to get showered and dressed. Maybe, you grab a bite to eat as you rush out the door. 

We spend our time cramming things into our schedules and when we do sit still, we are anxious to jump on facebook or text our friends.... anything to keep our minds going. But when it all comes down to it, none of this is what truly matters. What matters is Christ and our time spent with Him. 

He is saying, " Come away with me for a while. The world, with its nonstop demands, can be put on hold. Most people put Me on hold, rationalizing that someday they will find time to focus on Me. But the longer people push Me into the background of their lives, the harder it is for them to find Me." (Young 208)

When it all comes down to it, what will you choose to do with your time?


Quotation from: Young, Sarah. Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2004. 208. Print.

Trust in the Lord.

 A lot of things are happening; and, surprisingly, out of everything comes good. I've just been at that place where I've looked back and started to see how God has been working throughout my life. Now when new things come along, I don't worry as much.  It seems like I'm starting to come to the point where I have stopped, seen how God's worked in the past, watched things happen around me, and when I see how He brought me through, I have nothing but trust. And as I have been thinking about how I've acted in the past and my mindset towards some things, I started to realize a lot of truth that I had heard before that had just set in.  No longer does fear and worry have it's place, when Christ comes to live in your heart.


"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." 
-2 Timothy 1:7

So, when you feel fear creeping up, know that Christ makes all things new. Remember that, being a new creation, boldness and joy comes to replace that fear and worry that was once were there. I don't have to allow these things to bother me. No longer in bondage, there is no need to be afraid.

"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.' " 
- Romans 8:15

More than conquerors in Christ! That should get you pumped. With God on your side, nothing is impossible, nothing can stand against.  Know and remember who you are in Christ. There is nothing more powerful than He that lives within you.

"And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you."
-Romans 8:11


"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."
-1 John 4:4

Love endures.

I saw a man begging for money today. And I don't care what people will say about homeless people and beggars; but when you truly have nothing, I believe you count your blessings more than the average person. He waved as he walked the grass strip alongside the cars. He didn't even wince walking up to the last car, as I'm sure not every person he passed had a joyful response. He had collected money from two cars and he began to walk back to his belongings. As he returned, he blew two kisses to the sky and waved at every single car on the way to his things. It was the man that blew two kisses to God that made my day. I don't know what was going through his mind as he walked away with that money, but I know what I was thinking. If a man with much less than I had could be so joyful amidst his circumstances, why couldn't I? And, though, I didn't know his situation, I could just tell by his countenance that he was strong.

Yesterday, I heard someone mention love as though it was just a phase that I would grow out of. Then the thought crossed my mind that love is not a phase, it endures. I have learned that love is not just some puppy dog obsession and it is not temporary at all. It is something that takes time and precious care. It is something that lasts forever. And I hope that I don't just love with the intent to find love elsewhere down the road. It is not just a word to be "flung around". This doesn't just go for love between couples; it can be said about all love. Love is looking beyond faults. Love is sacrifice. To quote scripture: " Love is patient, love is kind." Love is more than words. And it never fails.

Let love grow

I am so tired of this apathy,

please take this hungry heart, Lord

and fill it with more and more of You

I do believe that nothing is impossible with You

I do believe that Your promises are true

they are what I cling to 

when it feels like I'm on the brink

of springing forth in praise

and I can't express how I feel on the inside

and my dreams of dancing for You won't subside

I just want them to see

how much you mean to me

I just want to be 

the person you meant for me to be

I am chosen, and free

I am Your child, You are my King

I am Your friend, for eternity

I am more than a conquerer, there is power in Your name

the only name by which we are free

Jesus, it was You who rescued me

and to You I am thankful 

help me to remember daily, all that You have done for me

and let this love for you grow, exponentially.

I know my God is with me

I've heard it said many times before: "In our weakness, He is made strong." But not the way I heard it tonight. Thinking about what happens in my moments of weakness, I thought back to my past. There is that critical point where you can decide to complain and work in your own strength; or you can claim your weakness through Him, the one who overcame. I thought back to when I sat in the hospital, alone in a room with white walls, one small bed with white sheets and a white blanket. Everything within me said I could not move on and wanted to act on my own, end it all in a selfish attempt to take my own life. Yet, someone told me there was more than this, that I needed to pray. And with one desperate, honest plea.... "JESUS!" There were no more thoughts plaguing me, no more hallucinations haunting me in my every move. It was over, I gave it all to him. In my weakness, he became strong.

Prayer for the city

I do believe that "greater things have yet to come" and that "greater things are still to be done in this city".

I was reading "Jesus Culture" today and here are some statistics about Christianity (I couldn't find the ones that were in the book):


In China, there are now about 80 million evangelical believers - growing at a rate five times that of the general population. Over 30,000 conversions a day take place in China alone.


In Africa the church is on fire. It's the first continent to become the majority Christian (over 50%) in a single century. Over 25,000 new believers per day mark the growth of the Church.


It is so encouraging to know that there are so many people coming to Christ, when at times things feel discouraging. I kept thinking about what I was doing in terms of prayer for my city and the lost. I thought to myself, I should spend the time when I complain about not having anything to do praying for others. After reading the book some and returning home I had a verse on my heart...Isaiah 62. God read my mind.


"1 For Zion's sake I will not keep silent, and for Jerusalem's sake I will not be quiet, until her righteousness goes forth as brightness, and her salvation as a burning torch. 2 The nations shall see your righteousness, and all the kings your glory, and you shall be called by a new name that the mouth of the LORD will give. 3 You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. 4 You shall no more be termed Forsaken, and your land shall no more be termed Desolate, but you shall be called My Delight Is in Her, and your land Married; for the LORD delights in you, and your land shall be married. 5 For as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your sons marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you." 
-Isaiah 62


We, as believers should have that same passion for our cities and the nations. We should let the Lord's love for the lost pour out of our hearts. God has compassion for those who have gone astray:


"My heart is torn within me, and my compassion overflows. 9 No, I will not punish you as much as my burning anger tells me to. I will not completely destroy Israel, for I am God and not a mere mortal. I am the Holy One living among you, and I will not come to destroy." - Hosea 11: 8-9


and He calls us to pray for those who may not have anyone else to pray for them:


"So I sought for a man among them who would make a wall, and stand in the gap before Me on behalf of the land, that I should not destroy it; but I found no one." -Ezekiel 22:30


I don't know about you, but I want to see our city changed! I want God to delight in it and I desire for our city to be called by a new name. I want to see a city full of people who are passionate and on fire; that are madly in love with Jesus. I want to see mountains moved and miracles happen by an unwavering faith. I want to see strongholds broken and lives healed. I pray that there will be a change from living lives of contentment to allowing God to move in the way that pleases Him.


God, help us to transform the world!

My hope

Jesus, I'm calling out, I'm reaching out cause I am in need of your love...

Right now, I'm goin through some stuff, but it's nothing that the Lord can't fix. I love how He always takes me in His arms and things always work out in the end. Here's the song I wrote today:

I have had such a great year and this next video about sums it up...

That is my lovely family!

Awaken me

At the beginning of the day I was tired and frustrated, a sad mess. 

I was hurting because I wanted to feel God, to feel something like what I felt before. Before, I had passion and now the fire had died down. Well, what am I left with when there's nothing to be felt? Could life go on when all I felt was pain? And I couldn't understand why, when I knew and witnessed that he could most certainly set me free from anything, why I was still acting like I couldn't be free of this sadness. Then I was reminded that indeed, there were so many points in my life where He had been there for me and there were so many things to be grateful for. Life didn't come to a standstill, I was pressing on through a storm and He was right there leading the way.
"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."              -Deuteronomy 31:8 
Through these things, I am only getting stronger. It is not a time where God has forgotten me. He is doing His work in me. I must continue to seek His face. He will never leave me. My God, I thank you for the amazing ways you work. I praise you for the things You are teaching me. You make me strong. I thank you that you hear my prayers and that you have restored my life. Thank you for the many things you have shown me over time, that continue to speak to me. Here is one of the things I found in the notes of things He had spoken to me through other people... this song:

" 'What does love look like?' is the question I’ve been pondering

'What does love look like?'

'What does love look like?' is the question I’ve been asking of You

I once believed that love was romance, just a chance

I even thought that love was for the lucky and the beautiful

I once believed that love was a momentary bliss

But love is more than this

All You ever wanted was my attention

All You ever wanted was love from me

All You ever wanted was my affections, to sit here at Your feet

Then tell me

'What does love look like?' is the question I’ve been pondering

'What does love look like?'

Then I sat down, a little frustrated and confused

If all of life comes down to love

Then love has to be more than sentiment

More than selfishness and selfish gain

And then I saw Him there, hanging on a tree, looking at me

I saw Him there, hanging on a tree, looking at me

He was looking at me, looking at Him, staring through me

I could not escape those beautiful eyes

And I began to weep and weep

Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com 

He had arms wide open, a heart exposed

Arms wide open; He was bleeding, bleeding

Love’s definition, love’s definition was looking at me

Looking at Him, hanging on a tree

I began to weep and weep and weep and weep

This is how I know what love is, this is how I know what love is

And as I sat there weeping, crying

Those beautiful eyes, full of desire and love

He said to me:

'You shall love Me, You shall love Me

You shall love Me, You shall love Me'

With arms wide open, a heart exposed

With arms wide open, bleeding, sometimes bleeding

If anybody’s looking for love in all the wrong places

If you’ve been searching for love, come to Me, come to Me

Take up your cross, deny yourself

Forget your father’s house and run, run with Me

You were made for abandonment, wholeheartedness

You were made for someone greater, someone bigger, so follow Me

And You’ll come alive when you learn to die"

I know what love is, because You showed me. And I will love You, my Jesus.

My heart, it's bound tight...

Help me to break loose from these tethers,

The ones that I let hold me tightly together

Watch this heart float, light and free

As I drift, gently sunward where we may be 

United, as one

No longer apart

No longer separated 

By what I put before You

Because nothing is above You

So why should I cling to these earthly things

You gave Your all

the biggest sacrifice

Now, I owe You my all

I give You my life

Break open these ropes 

That try to suffocate me

I need You to come 

Won't you rescue me?

Standing before the king...

I need You to understand
I'm in more need of You than I've ever been
Daddy, I need You and Your loving hand
To still my heart, wash this life anew
And make things right again

I long to leap and sing
But my body is not rejoicing
Inside I am a desert run dry
How could I stand before you with such a solemn face
It puzzles me, not knowing why I can't be
Spinning, carefree

I cry because I love You
I cry because I need You
I cry because I fear I've lost it all
I can't feel You here
And I just want it all back
To be back to where I was
A place where Your fire burned, and where it burned away
In a passionate display

Let this night be different
No more tears will run down this face
There can be no sorrow when You're here in this place
Remembering You're here with me always
My heart dances with joy

May I enter into Your courts with jubilant song
Cause You're inviting me in
You, my King
Are the only one who knows me and chose to love me
Why is it that You are always thinking of me?
How is it that You continue to love me?
Merciful Father,
Gracious King;
I bow before You,
Asking that you bring comfort to me
Bring fire to this heart, once more,
A heart that longs to praise You, always

Many years ago...

There once was a young girl, she was living in a world where she couldn't seem to escape hatred and corruption. But she longed to keep her childhood innocence. She remembered days when she would run in fields after her friend and dream that she was part of a world that didn't have a care about what was going to happen tomorrow. It was only here and now as she laid on the moss covered stone, staring up at the sky. She quickly fell asleep and dreamed a special dream. She opened her eyes to a dark sky and ash fell to the ground. She realized that she was seeing the world in complete despair. Suddenly, two people dashed out in front of her and she fell over. Looking in the puddle before her, she saw a hand reaching out. As she grabbed the hand she began to feel an overwhelming peace. Suddenly, it didn't matter what was happening around her. She lifted her eyes to see the face of a man who she could only describe as the "face of love". He told her that she must return to the world and deliver the message that there was hope. Soon, she was woken up to reality and her face beamed. How could she have not seen what she did now? It was as if her dreams of a world with peace were now possible and everything made sense. She had this longing for a better place that was founded in her longing to have the world restored to it's original place. Now, she wanted to shout from the mountaintop that there was hope in a Savior that would return. She came down from the mountain and began to tell the people that she saw of the good news of how her life had been turned around. There was now, no doubt, a life worth living, full of hope, joy and peace.

Send me

 In the year that King Uzziah¹ died,² I saw the Lord³ seated on a throne,⁴ high and exalted,⁵and the train of his robe⁶ filled the temple. 2 Above him were seraphs,⁷ each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet,⁸ and with two they were flying. 3 And they were calling to one another: "Holy, holy⁹, holy is the LORD Almighty;¹⁰ the whole earth¹¹ is full of his glory."¹² 4 At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.¹³ 5 "Woe¹⁴ to me!" I cried. "I am ruined!¹⁵ For I am a man of unclean lips,¹⁶¹⁷ and I live among a people of unclean lips,¹⁸ and my eyes have seen¹⁹ the King,²⁰ the LORD Almighty."²¹ 6 Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal²² in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. 7 With it he touched my mouth and said, "See, this has touched your lips;²³ your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.²⁴"8 Then I heard the voice²⁵ of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send?²⁶ And who will go for us?²⁷" And I said, "Here am I.²⁸ Send me!"  -Isaiah 6:1-8

TRANSFORMED

After seeing what I have seen this weekend at Campus Harvest, the Lord at work, how can I walk away and do nothing? "Here I am, send me!" Lord, use me every second, minute, and hour of each day. Lord, send me to the places where You are needed. I want to be used by You. 
     After hearing so many testimonies and seeing so many come to Christ, and so many baptized, I believe that the Lord will work in amazing ways. I'm so excited thinking about the things that He has done and is going to do. I know that I have to give Him my all, all the time. I just imagine the people around the world, struggling to survive and I sit and think of my situation. I have everything I could ever want and need and still I am not putting my all into living for Christ. I had become content in not taking risks and letting the daily humdrum of life distract me. I haven't been living in the moment. Now, I want to make that change.

Closer

I had been feeling far away from You
and farther it seems
I drifted as frustration took its toll
then closer, you drew me in
and closer I grew
until I learned to fully trust in You
You are all I need
You are the one that comforts me
I can not stray from you for long
Cause you reach out Your loving arm
And you take me in with Your embrace
my rock, my love, my hiding place...

Love that will not let me go

"O Love that will not let me go,

I rest my weary soul in thee;

I give thee back the life I owe,

That in thine ocean depths its flow

May richer, fuller be.

O light that followest all my way,

I yield my flickering torch to thee;

My heart restores its borrowed ray,

That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day

May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,

I cannot close my heart to thee;

I trace the rainbow through the rain,

And feel the promise is not vain,

That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,

I dare not ask to fly from thee;

I lay in dust life’s glory dead,

And from the ground there blossoms red

Life that shall endless be."

Lord, You never let go. You will not let me go. Through sickness and sorrow and pain, through numbness, drought, and rain You hold me close. I thank you for your steadfast love. Love that is pure and never gives up on me, even when I give up on myself. You keep me going, pushing me forwoard like a father pushing his child on a bike. Always keeping me steady and holding on, never letting me fall. You are my love, you are love. A love that will not burn out, no it will never die.